"On the day your brother died, you opened the last page of your book. But that page was blank.

That last page... A blank sheet of paper in the "book of your life".

For days, weeks, months you stared at this page and did not see how, day after day, hour after hour, it was constantly being filled with invisible words."

"The one who escaped his fate... The deed of a coward revealed.

It was your comrade and friend, it was your brother who died your death!

Every day that you live until your own death you will feel as a punishment.

Every breath you take will be painful to the last.

You will break under that burden, the guilt until the end of your days...

and only in the face of death will it be heard, your soul, how it cries.

 

Death, your redemption... may your poor soul be forgiven."

 

"The paths we take in life we walk without knowing that we have chosen them for ourselves. Everything comes in its time. Whatever and whenever it is. He will forgive you. Eventually, he will forgive you .", Xeria said and looked at Jaron.

 

 

"Who? Who will forgive me?" he asked her sullenly.

"You wanted me to see and I began to see. But what I saw was beyond good and I wish I hadn't seen it," she continued undeterred.

 

"What did you see? What are you talking about?" Jaron interrupted her again.

 

"I saw who you really are. Why you kept pushing me, to see. I began to understand your anger. Your doubts..."

Jaron interrupted her again.

"Are you so sure? Because if you are, then you don't need us anymore. But I have to warn you, be careful not to destroy yourself! You don't seem to know what you're doing."

Xeria looked at Jaron. There was disappointment in his voice. He kept his eyes on her and tried not to show how he was shaking inside.

 

"For you there was no question of why, for you there was only a fact.", Xeria began again.

 

"That would be...?" Jaron interrupted her.

Xeria's voice got now louder and more angry.

"Let me finish!", she snapped at Jaron. Her voice trembled with anger.

"Why the hell is it so hard to listen to me for once?

 

Your time was up ... long gone and you know that and you knew that just as well as I did. You must know. Because shortly after Leonia's death, I prophesied yours. Do you remember that? Do you remember the vision?? The warrior who came out of the light. I have never forgotten these pictures, not until today. The bright light from which he came. As he collapsed in the next picture and as in the third picture, someone was sitting in front of a grave on the field. It was your friend and comrade, your brother, who sat at your grave and not you at his." Xeria recalled aloud and continued speaking.

 

"I saw and realized nothing else. Every day I prayed that it wouldn't happen. For every day that passed and you survived, I thanked God." Xeria interrupted herself and looked up at the sky.

Dusk gradually covered the land and immersed the sky in a fascinating play of colours. Xeria looked at Jaron mutely and tried to read his face and posture. Jaron lowered his eyes to avoid hers. Slowly but surely she stepped closer to him. So close that he couldn't evead it and spoke  in a whisper.

"You felt it. You knew it would be your last Mission. You are a seer. Why didn't you see it? I don't understand. Explain it to me!"

 

Jaron pressed his lips together. Pale and trembling, he looked at Xeria and she looked into his eyes. Anger rose up in her and she had to pull herself together.

 

"You saw your own death coming. Did you know that your brother went in your place?"

 

Jaron was silent and Xeria continued her angry speech.

 

"You knew it and didn't prevent it. Knowing and accepting that he would die instead of you!? God... that's pathetic and cowardly, Jaron. You knew about his feelings for me, didn't you? Mayra did told me once. I can't remember exactly when that was. She told me so many things. She told me that you would overhear the conversations between her and your brother and you would sink more and more into yourself and become quiet. But do you know what I think? I think that this silence was just a facade. Like a kind of wall. Because inside you a bitter war began to rage. You were mad with jealousy, Jaron. You didn't say anything because it was your brother who was supposed to know that I belonged to you. You didn't like it at all that he developed more and more feelings for me and that he told you...", Xeria fell silent.

 

"Did someone ask me about it? Did any of you ask me how things were with me and my feelings? Was anyone interested?" Xeria's voice grew louder and angrier with each question.

 

"Was that the real reason he had to die?"

 

 

"You don't understand, Xeria . There were a thousand things in my head. My feelings towards you, Leonia's death, our responsibilities. How should I explain this to you so that you understand? Our lives are worth nothing. We shouldn't have feelings, we are still allowed to show feelings.", Jaron interrupted her again. "We must not feel anything, otherwise we are lost."

 

"That's a reason, Jaron, but it doesn't justify anything! You are a chosen one yourself... How long have you been insisting that I see? You were angry that I didn't see what I should see. Why only? I haven't understood it for ages. But now it's starting to get a clear picture and more importantly, it's starting to make sense. I'm starting to understand why you guys shamed me and judged me. 

For a mistake that wasn't intentional! I was and am free of any guilt. I was never at fault for anything. I was never at fault for anything. It was all just a wicked plan. You needed a scapegoat to distract from your own mistakes."

 

"That's not true.", Jaron objected.

"What's not true on it?" Xeria interrupted angrily.

 

"You shouldn't have..." he tried to start the sentence again. But Xeria was now so upset that she could hardly contain herself. Angry and loud, she vented her pent-up anger.

 

What would I not have?

Trust you? Meet you? Save you? Change your life? What? What, damn I shouldn't have?

 

 I can tell you what you shouldn't have done. 

But it was easier to adapt one person to many than many to oneHow many times have you lied to me? Did you actually think I wouldn't figure it out?

Have you forgotten who I am? Me and underestimating my abilities and doubting my gift was..." Xeria interrupted herself.

 

"What?" Jaron asked.

 

"That's not important at the moment." Xeria tried to calm the situation.

 

"There are countless things that burn on my soul. An infinite number of questions to which I am looking for an answer. What you know about me are dates and numbers but only a little, too few facts. You have recognized that I am different but you didn't see or no, better said, you didn't expect how close I was going to get to you. You didn't expect how deep I was going to get into your secret. I think that's one of the reasons why you put me down. You thought I was going to give up at some point. But that just shows how little you really know me. All that mattered to you was that I was a chosen one and I just had to see it and feel it. You you know so much and yet so little, Jaron." Xeria sighed.

 

"Right is,  that my unlimited curiosity and the resulting search for answers to all my questions could one day be my downfall. It's also true that I didn't realize some things until very late. But there's a good reason for that too.

 

How many times have I told you that things reveal themselves to me out of nowhere? How often have I tried to make it clear that I don't determine when I see or recognize something. The point in time is always self-determined. You should know that, Jaron. I'm always growing and evolving." Sara sighed again. Her voice calmed a little.

 

"I trusted you blindly. Every one of you." Jaron looked at Xeria .

"Are you done? I don't have forever."

Xeria knew that undertone. Hurt, offended, annoyed. It would inevitably lead to a big bang.

"You got off topic. What else did you see? That wasn't all, was it? And who? No, wait, where do the invisible words on the blank sheet of paper come from?" he asked in an icy cold tone.

 

"They are not mine, these words..." she began her answer.

 

"Come on, tell me, I want to know what else you recognized and saw." He provoked. But Xeria answered this question, very calmly.

 

"These invisible words, my dear Jaron, were written by the one who will one day decide what will happen to your soul."

 

"Wait" Sara exclaimed. She took a step back, looked at Jaron and approached him again.

"What is actually the problem here?"

"I don't have a problem. What makes you think I have a problem?"

Xeria grabbed his arm. "You are blaming me?"

Anger rose in her again. "Who treated me like air? Who condemned me for every mistake? Who gave up because he saw no other way out of his own guilt? 

Did you ever realize how much I suffered from it? Have you ever seen my tears that I shed because of you? Did you ever care? Was anyone there for me? Did anyone care about me as a Human? And then you blame me? We never had a real one Chance. Never!", she angrily let go of him. She couldn't find any more words. Her body was shaking so badly with excitement that she seemed about to collapse at any moment.

 

"There you can see how it feels when you're only ever confronted with accusations. Only mine at least correspond to the truth." Xeria called after him angrily while he disappeared into the darkness.

"Yes, just go ... you were always good at that... go away, when things got complicated.", her voice became quieter, but by no means calmer.